Leicester City Football Club today celebrate winning the 2015/2016 Barclays Premier League title, with three games to spare. The Foxes concluded their season by drawing with Manchester United on Sunday night, and then watching as only rivals to the title,Tottenham Hotspur, could only draw Monday's match with Chelsea, leaving them clear at the top of the table. The perhaps less than sparkling end to an otherwise spectacular season for the boys in blue ranks as one of sport's greatest upsets, along with Paula Radcliffe taking a dump during the London Marathon, and Lance Armstrong being a cheating pillock. Leicester boss Claudio Ranieri has described the result as "a result".
"It was a result," said Ranieri. "In the end only two teams could have won it and we were that team and the other team was not that team. This is football."
The surprising turn of events promises to become an even more shocking sight this coming weekend, as BBC's Match of the Day presenter Gary "Long Johnson" Lineker is set to present the show entirely in the nude. Lineker made the, at first, lighthearted suggestion during a pre-Christmas Twitter conversation. Now, however, he is surely beginning to regret the claim.
"I'm looking forward to seeing his cobblers," said Mark Lawrenson. "I want to know if his grey stripes extend to below the goatee, if you know what I mean. I'm talking down-town. On his bollocks."
BBC bosses have rejected claims that Lineker has been taken off duty for the upcoming MOTD special, due to air this Saturday, with many speculating that this is because nobody wants to see Mark Chapman start bollock naked. Not after that MOTD4 special.
I just don't get it. If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...
Who genuinely wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head?