Satire story: Um's Hart Guarantees Win That Virtually Everyone In The Country Figures Should Be Guaranteed Anyway!

University of Michigan tailback Michael Hart, his eyes bulging from pride or perhaps from gas caused by eating too much exhaust the last two weeks, guaranteed a roomful of media Saturday that the 0-2 Wolverines Um's Hart Guarantees Win That Virtually Everyone In The Country Figures Should Be Guaranteed Anyway!Satire about

Taurus horoscope

Dank inhospitable service station toilets may turn out to be your best friend today. Check your email daily. Because......