Valentines Gemini

Your groin will thank you today after a year's wait in purgatory see it finally live out its wildest dreams and rub against someone else's. If you think that's rude, you just wait to see what this evening has in store for your bottom.

Time will appear to go very slowly after reading this horoscope since you'll be anticipating wild and fanciful things all day. Your daydreams may, in fact, end up being far less wild than the real thing - it really is going to be that fantastic.

Words which might come into play today are: Yowsers, Stream, Up, Golden, Ouch, Jesus, Love, Fish, Finger.

This horoscope will not be to blame if any of the above words come into play during any activity you undertake, and we cannot be held responsible for the order in which any events occur.


Libra horoscope

In the land that time forgot, everyone had a hard time. I've written hundreds upon hundreds of horoscopes, but this......

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