Satire story: "You Could Not Credit It!"

It would seem that retailers Nationwide are peeing their respective pants at the copious amounts of money pouring through their swipe machines as the Nation goes sale crazy-on credit! Reports are flooding in from across the "You Could Not Credit It!"Satire about

Scorpio horoscope

For what it's worth, today is going to be very short. Which is a very good thing for you. Danger, excitement, thrills....