Funny drink jokes
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying,
"I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
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Cancer horoscope
This week will go well, except for the bits that don't. And not only will those bits go badly, but they'll go BADLY....
Full horoscope
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