Can't Pick Up Own Fingers

A man working at a lumberyard is pushing a tree through a saw when he accidentally shears off all then of his fingers. He rushes to the emergency of a nearby hospital where the awaiting doctor takes a look and says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."

"I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? This is the age of medical advances. We've go microsurgery and all sorts of incredible techniques! Why didn't you bring me the fingers?"

"Well, heck, doctor. I tried, but I couldn't pick em up."