Label Instructions On British Consumer Goods

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

• On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair .
• On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner No purchase necessary. Details inside. the shoplifter special
• On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." and that would be how
• On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." but, it's "just" a suggestion .
• On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert printed on bottom "Do not turn upside down." well...duh, a bit late, huh
• On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." ...and you thought
• On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." but wouldn't this save me more time
• On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.
• On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." and...I'm taking this because
• On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." as opposed to...what
• On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.
• On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." talk about a news flash
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta
• On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.