- You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
- Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
- Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
- The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
- We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home