Random Disconnects, Taken Through Usual Routine

Me: "Yes, I'm having trouble with the connect suite for dial-up."

Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"

Me: "I get random disconnects, I can't always get the dialer to work, and web pages often give strange time-out errors. I set everything up according to the documentation."

I thought, at this juncture, I'd get the usual "let's go through the setup just to be sure" routine. I was wrong.

Tech Support: "Yes, well, that program doesn't work on everyone's computer."

Me: "I know that. It doesn't work on mine, for instance."

Tech Support: "Well, we don't know why it doesn't always work. You should consider getting a new computer."