So Old... That Yoda And Jesus Come Up A Lot

Yo Mama so old...
She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
When she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed yo mama with a sundial.
She still owes Moses a dollar.
When she was at school...there was No history class!
She uses her hot flushes to heat her cup of Tea
She's got the first autographed Koran.
She co-wrote the 4th Commandment.
When I asked for Her ID yo mama handed me a rock
She even made Yoda jealous.
She recalls When the Grand Canyon was a ditch.
The fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake
When She gave birth, You came out with Dentures.
She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade
Her first job was as Cain and Abel's baby-sitter.
Her birthday expired.
When Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!
She got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.
Her social security number is 000-000-001
She's got Adam and Eve's autograph
She starting to fart out Mummy dust
Her zip code is 00001.
She used to baby sit Yoda
She uses chewing gum as a band aid.
She used to cut Betty Rubble's hair
She used to gang bang with the Flintstones
She was once a waitress at the last supper
Spielberg hired her as historical consultant on Jurassic Park
She was the only Creature in Jurassic Park they never had to animate
She uses T-Rex dropping as fertilizer.
She was co-author of the Dead Sea scrolls
When God said let there be light yo mama was the one flicking on the light switch.
She baby-sat for Pythagorus
She used to get sermon tips from Zeus.
She offered odds of 4 to 1 on Adam eating the apple
They call her Captain Caveman
She's more ancient than everything seen on the Antiques Road Show
She the only one at the old folks home with a senior citizens discount.
Mel Gibson hired yo mama to offer insights on what life was like with William Wallace
She got told to act Her own age...and she died.
She invented the term oldest profession in the world
She's in Jesus's yearbook!

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