Top Ten Ways Michael Jackson Would Be Cooler if He Lived in the Star Wars Universe
- Due to high loss-of-hand rate, wearing one glove is fashionably acceptable.
- Would not have needed huge effects budget for Captain EO
- In shocking revelation, he might have really been the father of Billie Jean's son.
- Could really walk on moons.
- After skin-altering disease, could become Light Lord of the Sith.
- Could ease tensions between Empire and Alliance with anti-violence message of Beat It
- Imperial breath mask could give him the deep voice he never had.
- Improved medical technology could make new nose and chin more realistic.
- Would have sure-fire hit with Sy Snootles duet
- Would strengthen characterization of movies by making Luke look manly.
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