Football commentators are a ridiculous breed from John Motson to... well, let's just stop there. They say the funniest and stupidest (yes, it's a real word) things, and here's a top ten list of them.
- Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
- He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
- And so they have not been able to improve on their 100 record.
- With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
- Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
- If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.
- Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.
- I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.
- If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.
- You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.
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