- Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
- I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
- No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.
- I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
- People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.
- I used to come here all the time with my ex.
- I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
- Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
- I like clay. It's mushy.
- I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
- And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
- I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.
- It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
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