- I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
- I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
- Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
- My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
- I cleaned my house yesterday. Sure wish you could have seen it.
- This isn't clutter; these are my antiques!
- Discover wildlife! Have kids!
- Our policy is to always blame the computer.
- Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
- Take my advice. I'm not using it!
- Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
- By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!
- This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
- Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
Funny deep & thoughtful jokes
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