My god these are some really terrible and unfunny T-shirt slogans. I think if I saw someone with a shirt with these things written on them, I'd sock them in the mouth and run away like a little girl.
- I childproofed my house, but they still get in.
- On the front: 60 is not old.
- On the back: ...If you're a tree.
- I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes.
- At my age,
- "getting lucky" means finding my car in the parking lot.
- My reality check just bounced.
- Life is short, make fun of it.
- I'm not 50. I'm 49.95 plus tax.
- Annapolis A drinking town with a sailing problem.
- I need somebody bad. Are you bad
- Physically pffffffft
- Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.
- I'm not a snob. I'm just better than you are.
- It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open cans.
- Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
- Keep staring....I may do a trick.
- We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.
- Dangerously under-medicated.
- My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone.
- Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
- Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture.
- Live your life so that when you die, the preacher will not have to tell lies at your funeral.
- In God we trust. All others we polygraph.
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