Premiership footy (football/soccer) jokes and stories - satire links and funny stories

With hundreds of funny stories, jokes and anecdotes being written about footy, the premiership and "star" players, thought it might be an idea to section them off here and publicise them. Soccer isn't immediately an obvious place for funny stories but with football rivalry being as it is, there's a lot of micky taking going on.

Hope you find this particular selection of footballing jokes as funny as I do.
Scottish Football Fans Deny Allegations of Fruit Possession

Scottish Football Fans Deny Allegations of Fruit Possession

The world of Scottish football was reeling yesterday as fans were forced to deny accusations that they were in possession of fresh fruit during Sunday's Scotland v Brazil friendly.

 NewsThump
Added: 29 March 2011
26 Booking Fee Is In Line With Everything Else In Football, Insists Uefa

26 Booking Fee Is In Line With Everything Else In Football, Insists Uefa

UEFA has defended the 26 booking fee for Champions League final tickets, insisting it is perfectly in line with everything else in a sport which pays Wayne Rooney 250k a week and charges 75 to

 NewsThump
Added: 24 March 2011
Customer Care In Scottish Football "Awful"

Customer Care In Scottish Football "Awful"

The Scottish Football Supporters Federation has just completed a report on customer care standards and its a damning indictment on the shoddy way clubs still treat their fans. Each club's performance was rated 0 - 5

 The Spoof
Added: 17 March 2011
Footy Star Mugged By Brit Bimbo After He Pinched Her Bum!

Footy Star Mugged By Brit Bimbo After He Pinched Her Bum!

England's super-sprinter-soccer-star, Aaron lennon, who earns much money playing for the Spurs went a "sprint" too far in a London night-club. Lennon, thinking that all Brit Bimbo's love soccer stars, especially their money and fast cars,

 The Spoof
Added: 16 March 2011
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Premiership Striker Saha In Car Crash

Everton's top scorer Louis Saha has emerged unscathed from a car crash in the Cheshire countryside. The accident happened in Wilmslow on the A538 on Sunday night when the Frenchman's Ferrari left the road and collided

 The Spoof
Added: 02 March 2011
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Sky Sports Sack Sexist Footy Expert Andy Gray For Fancying Female Referee!

Sky footy commentator, Andy Gray, has been sacked because he made a few "sexist" comments about female referee, Sian Massey at a premier league game in December. He and his colleague, Richard Keys, were caught with

 The Spoof
Added: 26 January 2011
It Certainly Appears That New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Has Really Focused On The "Foot" Part of The Word Football

It Certainly Appears That New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Has Really Focused On The "Foot" Part of The Word Football

MANHATTAN - Rex Ryan the head football coach of the NFL New York Jets was spotted in Macy's Department Store. He was asked by a reporter for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue, Gingerbread Matchaletti

 The Spoof
Added: 26 December 2010
A New Age In American Football

A New Age In American Football

The first non-contact football game in NFL history was played yesterday at Giant Stadium between the NY Giants and the Chicago Bears. The event was the culmination of years of controversy and debate among

 The Spoof
Added: 26 December 2010

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