Monster does mash, destroys half of city

A monster has today been arrested and is being held in Detroit International Prison pending charges of wilfully destroying property. The monster, real name Bonnie, was said to be in a "happy place".

Downtown Detroit meanwhile is still reeling from yesterday's disastrous flirtation with the monster dance-off that killed 14 people and injured several hundred others. The impromptu dance competition was organised online through Twitter and Facebook, and the monsters first heard about the "mash" when one individual omegled them.

"We were waiting in the chat queue," said one of the smaller monsters to attend, who had been witness to, but not a causation of, the disaster, "when this girl came online and started screaming about this 'amazing OMG monster-like-mash thing' that was going to spontaneously happen. Then she saw who she was chatting with and screamed 'OMG like monsters' again and turned the computer off. Naturally we assumed that we'd been directly invited. It was cool.

"We attended at around mid-day and there were all these people doing this sort of dance. It looked fun, so we joined in. But some of the bigger guys ended up rubbing against some skyscrapers and they came down. Then someone fell over and crushed quite a lot of buildings. Then Rex threw up, which was pretty horrible. Still, it was good fun."

Clear-up from the disaster is likely to take some time, while the actual scale of the disaster is still unknown.

"The problem with this city," claimed one official off-the-record, "is that it pretty much looks like this the best of times. We'll see what can be claimed under insurance, but I can already foresee a lot of apologetic faces and air being sucked through teeth."