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Cilla Black's Surprise Surprise

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In a strange turn of events it's transpires that in fact, contrary to recent news reports, Cilla Black is alive and well.

The loveable Scouse Celebrity, who's dulcet singing tones have made many an ear bleed, was reported to have died following a stroke at her Spanish villa. Our reporters have since discovered this was a complete rouse, designed to lead the British public away from the fact she is going to appear as a Surprise guest on Holly Willoughby's Surprise Surprise.

Inside sources told us 'How delighted the British Public will be to switch on their TV's and find the ginger Scouse alive and well, they will be ecstatic'

This we understand is the start in a long line of extra special Surprise Surprise programmes. Upcoming shows are expected to feature Eric Morecambe, Bob Monkhouse, Osama Bin Laden and Jimmy Savile all returning from their fictitious graves.

Cliff Richard, who was to perform at the funeral an impromptu track from the Church Pews was said to be devastated at the news. An close friend advised us 'It's a shame, this was to be Cliffs first public performance since being allegedly falsely accused of bumming boys and now Cilla has completely ruined if for him. When she does eventually die, he won't be attending the funeral' We were unable to establish if that would be due to his anger or incarceration.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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Given Time, by Paul London

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