US News Entertainment

Ziggy Stardust dies on mars

story image about entertainment and mars But boy could he play guitar
Report story

Ziggy Stardust has died. Reports came in overnight that the crew of the recent Ares Mars mission were forced to leave Stardust on the planet during an unprecedented sandstorm that left crew and equipment battered and bruised. In the melee, crew member Ziggy Stardust was regrettably struck by an untethered object and could not be retrieved in time for the departure of the craft, which otherwise would also have been destroyed in the storm.

"We regret," said Major Tom, Ares Mission Commander, "that today we have lost one of the world's foremost ambassadors for everything that is inspiring and bright about humankind. Stardust was an example of not just who we are capable of being, but just how many different and wonderful kinds of human being we are capable of becoming. We will miss him enormously."

Ziggy Stardust has a long history of re-invention and non-conformity. Though he died an astronaut, Stardust was previously a genius caretaker, an amnesiac spy and a lost soldier. In another life altogether, he was loved for his portrayal of a well endowed goblin king in the hit movie "The King's Speech".

Fans of Stardust have been gathering online all day, musing about the effect the man had on so many lives throughout his varied career. Some, like this author, have been moved by the volume of genuine grief on display, with media outlets even eschewing the usual roll-out of semi celebrities who once met the deceased at a party and thought he was a really good bloke, but instead focusing interviews on those who actually knew him and supported him in his life.

If you have a minute to spare today, we suggest you gather any recordings you can, and let the past show you just how good the future can be.

RIP David.

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter



Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Graveyard pun

Comedy writer dies from fatal punning

World Health 4

Comedy writer James Allistone has today died after writing what was said to be a "wholly terrible pun". Although the pun itself cannot be shared here for potential legal reasons,...

read more
5 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 3 years ago
by church-word999 - Ghost

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

9 comments, registered 5 years ago
#2 @ 3 years ago
by Arundhati Roy - Quiet veteran

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

12 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 3 years ago
by iron maiden3 - Ghost

Arundhati Roy wrote

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

THIS IS ABSOLUTE SHITE. THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF REASONS TO DESPISE YOU, AND THIS IS ONE. :

7 comments, registered 4 years ago
#4 @ 3 years ago
by ChalkCurrent123 - Ghost

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

This seems unlikely. But then I'm not a magic 8 ball. Good.

4 comments, registered 4 years ago
#5 @ 3 years ago
by oryx_bait42 - Ghost

Arundhati Roy wrote

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

Sure, why not. :)

2 comments, registered 5 years ago
#6 @ 3 years ago
by alice in chains 1760 - Quiet veteran

oryx_bait42 wrote

Arundhati Roy wrote

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

Sure, why not. :)

Nice work. Great job. )

14 comments, registered 5 years ago
#7 @ 3 years ago
by Chess-Trick - Ghost

alice in chains 1760 wrote

oryx_bait42 wrote

Arundhati Roy wrote

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

Sure, why not. :)

Nice work. Great job. )

This is the funniest piece of work I have ever experienced. :)

3 comments, registered 3 years ago
#8 @ 3 years ago
by alice in chains 1760 - Quiet veteran

Chess-Trick wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

oryx_bait42 wrote

Arundhati Roy wrote

church-word999 wrote

i am not entirely sure i believe this.

I can't agree more with this. Absolutely spot on.

Sure, why not. :)

Nice work. Great job. )

This is the funniest piece of work I have ever experienced. :)

Seems phony.

14 comments, registered 5 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Libra horoscope

Your funny bone may have disappeared momentarily. However, it may turn up where you least expect it. Express yourself,......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write and publish your own funny stories
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed