Comedy writer dies from fatal punning

Comedy writer James Allistone has today died after writing what was said to be a "wholly terrible pun". Although the pun itself cannot be shared here for potential legal reasons, Allistone's wife has begun a campaign to prevent future unnecessary deaths.

"James was a good sort of guy. He was small in a lot of ways... yes, quite a lot of ways... but he had a big heart, and that counted for something. What is disturbing is the amount of Twitter and Facebook interest there has been to discover the exact nature of the pun he was writing when he died. This morbid fascination, and continued search for the holy grail of puns, is worrying indeed."

No website or social media outlet has dared re-publish the exact pun for fear it may cause other deaths amongst their readership, thus sparking potential lawsuits and Facebook pages to spring up all over the place. It is feared that one day someone might discover the pun and use it to control the media, and at least one wag has suggested that this might actually explain Rupert Murdoch's current position.

Regardless of the danger, some websites are attempting to see if they themselves are capable of cracking the potentially fatal pun-code, forming lists of up to 10 items at a time, that are subsequently scientifically tested for their ability to kill. So far, no pun in ten did.