Philanthropist and philatelist Gandhi, full name Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, was today awarded a posthumous patent for a form of diaper that he developed during his many years wearing nought but robes. The award, not actually a physical statue of a desperately cross-legged child, comes over 65 years after the man's death, and concerns a particular method of fibre-meshing that absorbs almost ludicrous amounts of liquid.
"It's quite astonishing really," said award giver Maria Vontramm. "We knew that Gandhi eschewed modern comforts, such as bowel-movements, and there were plenty of rumours about him 'going' in his clothing - but we never dreamed until the family opened up his estate that we'd find such amazing things. He truly was quite the man - apart from almost single-handedly forcing the case for Indian independence from the British, and generating quite exceptional forms of non-violent protest, he was also a man of great invention."
The patent is set to make the Gandhi family one of the richest in the world due to the similarity of existing diapers which have been in use for over 30 years.
"This is the really amazing thing," continued Vontramm. "The existing diaper manufacturers have been using pretty much exactly his method for decades, so a great deal of back-pay is required to offset their infringement."
"Mahatma" Gandhi has also recipient of a number of other awards since his death, including GQ's Snappiest Dresser award in 2014, and an entry in Playboy Magazine's top 100 Twentieth Century Babes.