An atheist writes Satan

Dear Satan,

How are you? I know that it must feel quite odd that you are getting a letter, but there are so many things that I feel that I have to ask you. You see I don't really believe in the religion thing like people who believe in you and in a supreme being and in heaven and hell and all that stuff do, but if you are indeed real I hope that you can answer some of these questions which I am about to ask you.

My first question Satan is why is it that people blame you for the fall of Adam and Eve when Genesis chapter 3 clearly says that it was the serpent? In fact, nowhere in the Adam and Eve story is your name even mentioned.

My second question Satan is this, how does it feel to be blamed for everything that is wrong in the world today? Doesn't every man supposedly have free will? We see evidence of this in Ezekiel 18:20. So why is it that you are made the scapegoat for everything that is considered evil?

Thirdly, who is really in control of this world, you or God? Paul said in II Corinthians 4:4 that you are the "god of this world." Yet David said in Psalm 135:6:"The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths." Who is telling the truth? Paul or David?

Fourthly, if you are the "god of this world," then why is it that you weren't able to tempt Jesus when he was at his weakest in Matthew chapter 4? In fact, in verse 10 he was able to command you to go away and you promptly obeyed him.

Look, to tell you the truth Satan, you are as real to me as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but I find it strange that certain religious people spend so much time obsessing over you and the evils that you allegedly do when the fact of the matter is they should really be looking more at themselves to see how they can improve their own lives and their relationships with others.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 8 years ago

by William Golding911 - One-off wonder

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

1 comment, registered 11 years ago

#2 @ 8 years ago

by swing_stop1984 - Ghost

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

5 comments, registered 10 years ago

#3 @ 8 years ago

by Led Zeppelin - Ghost

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

edited: sorry, wrong post! i am entirely plussed by this article.

6 comments, registered 9 years ago

#4 @ 8 years ago

by cap lamp - Ghost

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

4 comments, registered 11 years ago

#5 @ 8 years ago

by David Pixley ~theMuzzl3 - Writer

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

2 comments, registered 10 years ago

#6 @ 8 years ago

by Pickle Company - Ghost

theMuzzl3 wrote

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

Nice work, funny type person. I thought it was funny.

6 comments, registered 10 years ago

#7 @ 8 years ago

by purposeamusement142 - Ghost

theMuzzl3 wrote

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

WELL, I LAUGHED.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

#8 @ 8 years ago

by Fred Kidd-Dunlap999 - Ghost

theMuzzl3 wrote

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

Oh shut up.

7 comments, registered 10 years ago

#9 @ 8 years ago

by foldladybug - Ghost

Fred Kidd-Dunlap999 wrote

theMuzzl3 wrote

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

Oh shut up.

I'M ANNOYED THAT PEOPLE NEED TO SEE AWFUL LIKE THIS.

:(

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

#10 @ 8 years ago

by Jane Austen123 - Ghost

foldladybug wrote

Fred Kidd-Dunlap999 wrote

theMuzzl3 wrote

cap lamp wrote

swing_stop1984 wrote

William Golding911 wrote

I have someone to brand the author's 2 with the word 'cunt' as punishment for this. :(.

I' here all week. :-(.

Sometimes I write things on the internet.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE OFFPUTTING THAN PEOPLE SPOUTING ABOUT THINGS THEY CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

:)

Oh shut up.

I'M ANNOYED THAT PEOPLE NEED TO SEE AWFUL LIKE THIS.

:(

there are plenty of gorgeous articles and comments inside online articles about this, , but this is silly. if this doesn't become a meme then the world has gone truly mad.

6 comments, registered 12 years ago

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