Craig Wright found to be creator of ancient bartering system

The BBC, Guardian and NBC have today received definitive proof from Craig Wright that shows him to have been the originator of the first ever barter systems. Though many have suggested that the claims may be somewhat spurious, Wright has provided undeniable digital proofs of the claim, that we're not allowed to know about for some reason.

Analysts have yet to have the opportunity to study the proofs, but many are already claiming that the ownership makes a great deal of sense. Dan Ragraine, from Laughingstate University, told us:

"I have to admit, it does seem to all fit into place now. Mesopotamian tribes were nowhere near sophisticated enough in the 6000BC era to have come up with such a way of exchanging goods and services. That Wright was there to show them the way makes sense of everything. In fact, we've got someone in our research labs who's convinced that the Rosetta stone has Craig Wright's signature on it. The man's a marvel!"

Mesopotamian prior claims to ownership are now being torn to shreds, as are any further claims by Phoenicians or Babylonians - the Romans owe everything to Craig Wright, in retrospect. Salaries? Wright's invention.

Mr Wright has come to fame and no-fortune over the past two weeks after making a prior claim to be the inventor of Bit Coin, Satoshi Nakamoto. After those claims were mostly blown out of the water by good journalism, he appears to have tried his hand at claiming ownership of other more ancient forms of barter, swap and sales.

In the meantime, it appears that Mr Wright's reputation is somewhere in the balance. If these latest rumours can be proven, then perhaps his long-lost bravery will return to him. Until that happens, keep watching the skies.