World Health Sci / Tech

Experts Swipe at Smart-phones

story image about Experts Swipe and phones
Report story

An international team of experts now warns that excessive use of Smart-phones are forever changing our physiology. There’s nothing new in this though. It is a well-established fact that cultural advancements and trends, if significant enough, can force the human body into a speedy evolution to accommodate new practices. Like the Chinese binding of women feet in the 10th century for example. A custom which even today causes their women to topple over when touched by the slightest gust of wind. No. It is the speed with which these changes are taking place that has the scientific community worried. A worry fueled when a recent study revealed that the constant swiping motions associated with Smart-phones has made our thumbs grow to be a whopping 15% bigger in average.

Laughsend decided to post bail for resident reporter and apparently avid “birdwatcher” Bubba Rothschild, so he could find out more.

“The understandable joy within the hitch-hiking segment aside; this could turn out to be a major problem if not addressed.” explains Dr. Alban, a specialist in Nokiaology with the University of Inter Milan. "I don’t see why the digit should stop growing if we continue down this path and we could all very easily end up looking like cartoon characters unless we apply another method fast.

Dr. Alban and his colleagues have been working on alternatives for some time, unfortunately without any marketable breakthroughs thus far. “We did try to implement an eye-operated system like the one fighter-pilots use, but reports came back saying it rendered people looking shifty. So we still have a lot of work ahead of us to prevent the cartoon scenario.” said the concerned Doctor.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Sports of some sort

Sports team beats rival in show of athletic and tactical superiority

World Sport 0

Two sports teams went head to head yesterday in an attempt to prove which one was the better player of the sport in question. The answer was Team B. Go you Team...

read more
10 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 8 years ago
by meza1974 - Ghost

THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF REASONS TO LOATHE YOU, AND THIS IS ONE.

5 comments, registered 9 years ago
#2 @ 8 years ago
by operation caterpillar123 - Quiet veteran

And your point is?

17 comments, registered 11 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Sagittarius horoscope

It may be time to accept that you're a failure and a loser. The medical degrees you claim you possess were not worth......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed