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Photographer accidentally takes candid shot of Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson kissing, in no way whatsoever

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A photographer has today become the latest Cause Célèbre, after finding that he accidentally took a snap of celebrity couple Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson during a steamy "snog" session with his girlfriend. The photographer, Jake Macfarlane, discovered his lucky snap when he went to transfer his latest London night-time shots to his computer.

"It was amazing. I was just clicking away that night outside the bars and night clubs, taking shot after shot after shot of whiskey. It took me ages to realise that I had the money shot, so to speak, when I noticed that I had a beautifully framed snapshot of Clarke and Watson going at it Hammer and Tongs, which was the name of the pub I was in with my girlfriend. It was totally gross, but I knew that some people might be interested. I first tried to sell it to a local gay magazine called Lesbi Friends, but they thought it was a bit upmarket for them. Anyway, somehow or other, though it was probably the Facebook app listening to my private conversations, one of the more famous red-top newspapers called me and snatched it out of my hands for forty quid. I bought myself a snake with the proceeds. I've always wanted one."

The photograph, which is yet to be published and is possibly allegedly subject to a super-injunction, is absolutely not about Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson, and in no way depicts the two beautiful actresses kissing while wearing beautifully revealing tops. As with all injunctions, there is a blanket ban on revealing either the existence of the photograph that does not exist, or the names of the parties not shown within the non-existent object. We must stress that Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson have not been called on to comment about the photograph, partly because it doesn't exist, but mostly because they are not featured in it. If they were, there is some certainty that Clarke would have at least one of her nipples showing through a thin sky-blue material dress top, and Watson would be holding open her own downstairs lips.

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