Dave Carney

The nutter that is Dave Carney

On an auspicious day in 2023, Dave was first hired, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by an ass of a producer Shana Key, who was at the time really excited about his new shoes. Pointless though it is to argue with him, Dave is hoping to accidentally castrate himself in the near future.

Dave Carney started life as an excellent gardener, and used to be someone who could count higher than their IQ would seemingly allow. Though once famous for apologising to every tourist in New York, Dave is now thought to be amongst the most eligible people in the world. Likely future film roles are said to include a policeman.

Currently starring in: