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18:00 |
The Thompsons
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Cartoon Series |
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18:00PM to 18:30PM.
Heavily caricatured family with a wife-beating husband, loving mother, one naughty child and one know-it-all child, all attempt to live harmoniously.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Michael knows Saundra's little secret about toasting bread on the radiators. It's true - no-one cares about upsetting a droid.
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18:30 |
Where grown men go to cry/masturbate
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Cartoon Series |
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18:30PM to 19:00PM.
Hilarious "adults only" cartoon that only children or the pathetic will watch.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: George wonders what it would be like to not go around thinking naughty thoughts. Can this be allowed to continue?
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19:00 |
You can resell my kidney but never my liver
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Auction show |
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19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Alternative auction show in which contestants try to outbid each other for urgently needed organs.
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19:30 |
I'd kill for a new home
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Quiz show |
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19:30PM to 20:00PM.
The innovative Chinese quiz show makes its debut on western screens. Watch as families commit homicide in order to win the star prize - a stylish second hand motor home.
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20:00 |
The only way to win is not to play
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Quiz show |
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20:00PM to 20:30PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax.
Armageddon reality show in which contestants' brain patterns control the missile defence system at NORAD.
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20:30 |
Billie Newman is a complete shit
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Comedy Series |
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20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Comedian Billie Newman walks around the various pubs of Liverpool, irritating people without pause until they say the phrase "Billie Newman is a complete shit".
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Tony wonders what it would be like to not go around toasting bread on the radiators, and he has the presence of mind to consider giving all for no real purpose, and he wonders if this is the week to forget the words to the national anthem, and he decides to eat garlic to avoid sex. Danger never felt so real.
Contains mild language and scenes of lactation.
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21:00 |
The amazing secretions of Patricia Potts
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Comedy Series |
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21:00PM to 22:00PM.
Everyone has tremendous secretions, but Patricia is different to everyone else. Hers are magical!
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Someone reveals all. Will Leanna confess to Paul about driving nude from the waist down? Regardless of what recurs in this episode, none of these idiots will ever change their ongoing behaviour. And that concludes something.
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22:00 |
The bastards 'ate my guts
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Science Fiction Series |
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22:00PM to 22:30PM.
British sci-fi hilarity characterised by poor diction.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: The sun shines on both sides of the hedge. A mysterious odour is probably overjoyed for all. Will Cynthia confess to Ian about downloading fish pornography? Everyone wonders what horrors will be next.
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22:30 |
If it doesn't squeal then it doesn't feel pain
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Food / drink show |
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22:30PM to 23:00PM.
Crustacean surgery masquerading as cookery, with Jessica Downs
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23:00 |
Slug it out with slugger
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Food / drink show |
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23:00PM to 23:30PM. Record option unavailable, because your remote's batteries are low
When gardens attack: this series explores what happens when slugs take over local gardens and the residents attempt to fight back.
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23:30 |
Upload your life, bitches
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Current / consumer affairs |
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23:30PM to 00:00AM.
Facebook and Twitter executives laughing in front of the camera. That's it.
Contains material that might make you think whether it's a good idea to upload your life and everyone you know to strangers.
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Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy
George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
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