TRUMP IS BALD!

Donald Trump has finally confessed to wearing a toupe! During the US Presidential Address last night, Trump owned up to wearing a hairpiece!

Speaking on all US network channels, he admitted, "I couldn't in good conscience withhold this knowledge anymore from the US electorate!"

This damning revelation has sent shock waves round the corridors of power on Capital Hill. One member of the Senate tweeted, "He has lied to the American public! I thought the Watergate Scandal was big, but this is HUGE!"

The secretary of defense issued a DEF-CON 1 War footing fearing that civil and international war would break out imminently. The President has been moved secretly to an undisclosed military underground bunker as a safety precaution!

Russian President Vladimiar Putin tweeted, "I knew he was bald all along! And all that male ‘locker' talk is probably a load of bullshit too!"

Political Analysts totally agree that the fallout from this recent admission will be "apocalyptic" One analyst opined, "The security of the West now hangs on a piece of string!"

Trump's rating amongst women has skydived. One lady said, "There is nothing unsexier than a man hiding his baldness!"

More breaking news to be announced by your Daily Bollocks!