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Parents and Children Worried Days of Jumping into Zoo Exhibits are Over

story image about children and Children Worried Days Winston Reflects on Days When Gorrilla Enclosures Were Safe
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The future is not bright for children looking to enjoy the good-natured fun of gorilla displays.

After the silverback gorilla Harambe of the Cincinnati Zoo attacked a young boy recently, children around the world immediately knew this isolated incident would ruin the fun that has shaped their childhood. Winston, a local 9 year-old, has been going to the Detroit Zoo since he was 6. "My mom never needed to watch me as I plunged into the gorilla enclosures", says a clearly frustrated Winston. "In my day we just went for it. Looks like those days may be coming to an end."

Parents also have voiced a great deal of concern over this issue. "When a child gets torn to shreds by a shark do we stop letting them in the ocean? If ice cream was poisonous would we stop serving it to them? The answer is no." says Cheryl of Grand Rapids. "I will never forget the day my four year old son fell into his first gorilla pit. It's a rush that really can't be beaten." So the question that many parents have on their mind is how much our country is willing to sacrifice to keep children safe. Officials have considered implementing a law that requires a fence around all exhibits with animals that are considered deadly. Naturally this measure has received an outpour of backlash among adults that grew up with the thrill of not knowing whether each trip to the zoo was there last.

In response to the tightening grip of modern society some parents have started the Coalition of Parents for Safety-Free Zoos. Their motto is "There are very many dangerous places in this world that we should protect our kids from. Gorilla pens are not one of those." They are asking donations for their cause and promise that if they fail they will provide all donors with a small catapult to get there kids in the exhibits. "Either way they are getting in that f***ing exhibit" said a disgruntled member of CPSFZ. "Some of us never got fancy things like TVs or high school diplomas. This is what we have. Don't take it from us." Donations are reportedly flowing in from around the country. If you would like to donate visit or call 1-800-Burritos.

So what will be the future of Zoos? Have we seen the end to watching our little children playfully dragged by silverback gorillas? Only time will tell.

At press time the Cincinnati Zoo was considering adding a "Climb Fence at Your Own Risk" sign to take care of any future liability issues.


#1 @ 7 years ago
by Ticket-Baseball - One-off wonder

sure, why not. meh.

1 comment, registered 8 years ago
#2 @ 7 years ago
by best years of our lives - Ghost

Bollock's. :(.

9 comments, registered 7 years ago
#3 @ 7 years ago
by abraham_lynch888 - Ghost

Ticket-Baseball wrote

sure, why not. meh.


2 comments, registered 9 years ago
#4 @ 7 years ago
by malorie blackman1980 - Ghost

Ticket-Baseball wrote

sure, why not. meh.

I detest this kind of shite, so just accept that I'm true, bitche's.

5 comments, registered 8 years ago

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