Stories Archive by Month - July

Already deaf from opiates and now blind due to chugging vats of Viagra in the Dominican Republic, talk show icon, Rush Limbaugh, will undergo a voice box removal as he prepares for the film role of Helen Keller in an upcoming remake of her classic life story...

The New York Times has defended its leak of the launch codes to the U.S. nuclear missile system, insisting that it was right to leak this information...

At the recent opening of a Witch School in Hoopeston, Illinois, there was an uninvited guest. If you can call her a guest, that is. To the school's faculty, she was an intruder. Glinda the...

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il today acknowledged that he had ordered yesterday's missile strikes against the Sea of Japan in response to what he called "threatening and provocative movements" that the body of...

The Death of Ken Lay has brought forth voices of many questioning the validity of his death. Lay, who was awaiting word on what could have been a 20 year sentence for fraud, was pronounced...

Welcome to the No Spin Zone! As you already know, Christmas has been under attack in this country. I have evidence of at least seven recorded anti-Christmas incidents in total...

Seoul, South Korea (APE) - After a day of missile testing which saw a total of anywhere from seven to ten launches, depending upon accounts...

As a hard-driving, bloodthirsty, busy young professional you have learned the hard way that time is a truly precious commodity. Still, as pressed for time as you already are, you still have basic needs and...