Banks are set to cancel all existing and outstanding student loans later this year, in a move that analysts have called "stupendously mad". Both UK and US banks have so far confirmed they are ready to sign an agreement, with France and Germany to follow in 2015.
"This is an incredibly important decision the banks have made," claimed an industry insider. "The cancellation of this debt is a gesture that perhaps only students who have already suffered life-breaking tuition debts will truly grasp. I wonder, actually, if the banks themselves have really thought this one through. It's going to be more expensive than cancelling government debts. I dunno, it all sounds like a satirical story you'd read on some grubby website to me."
Students who have recently paid their debts will also receive a full reimbursement of their payments, with suggestions that the banks may go as far back as 15 years.
"This is great," said one ex-student who's still half way through paying off a $30,000 debt accrued while studing at Brown University. "I have a lot of tattoos I want removing surgically, so it'll help pay for those. Seriously - the stuff you get up to as a student. I have a picture of Bender, from Futurama, on my ass. That's the one I'm keeping."
For more information, drop into your local bank branch, or call them 24/7 at their usual numbers (calling costs may apply; always read the terms and conditions).
Comments
Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)
funny. nice work, funny type peson.
I don't know. Snore. :)
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.
If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.
Come on, this is poop. Don't fall for it; stop feeding the troll. I'm surprised more hasnt been made of how terrible this is.
I'VE SERIOUSLY LIKED THE MATERIAL ON THIS WEBSITE, BUT IT'S ALL STARTING TO GET THE SAME NOW. I JUST DON'T GET IT.
X)
i thought it was hilarious. :)
I AM ABOUT AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE MADE.
Stop feeding the troll.
You're one of those people who has to think of the contrarian argument every time. It's not "playing devil's advocate" - it's called being a garbage. I can't decide whether I should find out when you're next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating badly, and then shitting on everything you own.
NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE IDIOTS... HEH-HEH.
Solid. Oh get bent.