Banks are set to cancel all existing and outstanding student loans later this year, in a move that analysts have called "stupendously mad". Both UK and US banks have so far confirmed they are ready to sign an agreement, with France and Germany to follow in 2015.
"This is an incredibly important decision the banks have made," claimed an industry insider. "The cancellation of this debt is a gesture that perhaps only students who have already suffered life-breaking tuition debts will truly grasp. I wonder, actually, if the banks themselves have really thought this one through. It's going to be more expensive than cancelling government debts. I dunno, it all sounds like a satirical story you'd read on some grubby website to me."
Students who have recently paid their debts will also receive a full reimbursement of their payments, with suggestions that the banks may go as far back as 15 years.
"This is great," said one ex-student who's still half way through paying off a $30,000 debt accrued while studing at Brown University. "I have a lot of tattoos I want removing surgically, so it'll help pay for those. Seriously - the stuff you get up to as a student. I have a picture of Bender, from Futurama, on my ass. That's the one I'm keeping."
For more information, drop into your local bank branch, or call them 24/7 at their usual numbers (calling costs may apply; always read the terms and conditions).