Breakfast TV programme makers fired globally for making terrible television

Breakfast television programme makers today find themselves hunting for jobs after being universally fired. Across the globe, mildly attractive men and women who previously co-hosted or "anchored" breakfast TV were sacked last night after failing to "produce anything worthwhile" during their attempts to entertain during the wee hours.

"Attractive" co-anchor to Scotland's Good morning youse programme told us:

"This is a travesty. An injustice. I just had my arms waxed and everything."

The Breakfast TV slot is a sought after position for any television station and, in recent years, attempts to bolster viewings have ranged from dumbing down the nature and quality of the news discussions, to dumbing down the quality and nature of the news discussions. Whenever this failed to cause the anticipated raise in ratings, many programme makers have decided to try dumbing down the nature, quality, and length of news discussions - all to no avail.

They have, quite literally, tried nothing to engage viewers in a way that actually appeals to them.

In righteous response, people around the world decided to let their feelings be known by simply not watching their drivel, and focusing instead on, for example, finding the keys so they're ready to go to work, or sometimes even brushing their teeth an extra time in the hope that the alcohol smell will be gone.