Daffy Duck

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Warner Bros character, Daffy Duck, has decided to stop giving autographs to fans. In a shock move by the black duck (no racialism intended), Daffy's announcement has lead to rioting in the US South, whilst Europe is considering holding vigils in order to see whether God can change his mind.

Spokesman for newly formed self-help group "Daffy for Daffy", Markus Miel, said:

"It is very sad news. In the past we know that Daffy has been one of the best for giving autographs, meeting and greeting, and even signing the breasts of waiting nuble women. However, since his change of heart in this respect we now hate him and the whole world hates him. He is filth and we hope he dies."

Whilst this may seem like a slight over-reaction to the situation, Miel retorts: "We have spent many thousands of hours watching and listening to Daffy's work and we deserve something better. He has gotten rich off the fans and we're shocked he'd give us such short shrift."

Warner Bros are yet to release a statement confirming the announcement made yesterday by Daffy's lawyers. It seems that the turnaround on autograph giving occurred during a walkabout last year when Daffy was assaulted by an ink-squirting pen.