Escalator swallowed by Chinese woman

A Chinese woman has stunned the world today by becoming the first ever human being to purposefully ingest an escalator. Xiao Ping, 48, has had a habit of breaking world-eating records, but today's metal-mouthful has gone even further than she has before. Ping explained her humble beginnings:

"I started back in 1997 when I ate part of a truck. I was camping with friends and someone forgot to bring food. I moaned for about fourteen hours until someone said they were sick of me and to go and eat a car. I was livid, and went one better by devouring the front part of their truck. I had the last laugh."

The previous world record was held by Dan McGran from Scotland, who ate a metal railing during a Rangers/Celtic soccer match. Bystanders were amazed to see the 58 foot section of railing torn off, apparently in anger at a "dodgy penalty decision" - only to see McGran joyously eat it in celebration once the penalty had been saved. Ping's supporters have suggested that her escalator antics earn her a special place in history.

"It was nothing," Ping claimed. "I was in the shopping centre and I just read an excerpt from the Guinness Book of Records about this Scottish man who ate a railing. I thought I could do one better, and I did! I was arrested only once the whole escalator was eaten. Unfortunately I now have to pay 932173 Yen."

CCTV footage of the attempt has gone viral, and YouTube has so far indicated that this may be the fastest growing video in the website's history. Social media is alight with thoughts on the record breaking attempt, with many indicating that Ping is a national hero - contrasting with last week's amateur sex-scandal that occurred in the Chinese Uniqlo changing room.

Doctors have so far stayed mysteriously silent on the subject, though Ping's best friend Lee Pao claimed that her stomach was lined with the containers McDonalds use for their coffee - a material which can apparently contain any substance without concern. While it is unknown whether Ping will live to see tomorrow, many are saying that her endeavour has brought them simultaneously to tears, and to rage.