Pitt and Jolie marry in wedding ceremony

Loving couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie married this week, in a ceremony that insiders described as "matrimonial". The bash took place in a secret location that reporters found out about because it wasn't a secret at all, while Pitt and Jolie looked unstartled to find that there was interest about their wedding. Best man at the wedding was another person who the couple both knew, but reporters didn't.

"It really took everyone by surprise," said nobody. "I mean, it's almost like they love each other or something, and as though marrying is a completely normal thing to do. Celebrity culture gone mad!"

There is no more story to this one, so like all media outlets we'll quickly describe what the "secret" venue was like in France, and how the town where they got married has, like, tonnes of awards for flower arranging or something. Oh, and there's a lady who lives there who's 105 years old so she was alive during World War One, which, when you think about it, is pretty neat.

Details of any prenupital agreement between the two would be incredibly interesting to some people, but for one reason or another the couple are shamefully unwilling to share this private information with the world.