Transformers 6 given go ahead by future movie disasters committee

This camera turns into a kick-ass fighting robot

Universal Studios has today released plans giving the go-ahead for movie producers to begin casting for Transformers 6. The movie studio and current rights holder to the movie franchise have thus far released four robot/cars features, with a fifth currently set for release in 2017. While it is universally agreed that only the first of those movies is "any good", the cost and potential cost of owning the rights effectively corrals them into continuing to make the films.

Dan McLatherin from online blog Totally Moviez told us:

"Their hands are tied. They must be literally sitting around a table moaning and wailing that they have to make more of these things. They know they're garbage. They know they're getting worse. But they know that while there's a dumb market out there for them they have no choice."

This situation is apparently not limited to Universal. Warner Bros, Lionsgate and Dreamworks all have their version of a "future movie disasters committee" that is purposefully tuned to generating popular but worthless sequels.

"It's a sad situation in some respects," McLatherin continued. "Studios genuinely want to create really exciting, dramatic and - above all - new films. But they can't. Because of extant fan bases they are literally forced to churn out this shit. It's a sad day."

It is ironic that movie-goers bemoan the lack of original titles and abundance of sequels, prequels and tie-ins, when it appears that the studios themselves are not to blame. They are not the money grabbing peddlers of easily ground out shit that we think they are: instead it's our fault, the consumer, for demanding unoriginal mindless nonsense.

Transformers 6,7,8,9 and 10 are all due for release in the Summer of 2018.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 9 years ago

by cannon-jeans - Ghost

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

2 comments, registered 11 years ago

#2 @ 9 years ago

by Corkie Sherwood - Writer

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

#3 @ 9 years ago

by amelie - Quiet veteran

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

19 comments, registered 11 years ago

#4 @ 9 years ago

by RMacdonald1986 - Quiet veteran

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

12 comments, registered 10 years ago

#5 @ 9 years ago

by amelie - Quiet veteran

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.

:)

19 comments, registered 11 years ago

#6 @ 9 years ago

by market activity - One-off wonder

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

1 comment, registered 9 years ago

#7 @ 9 years ago

by drop-sea urchin - Ghost

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

nice work, funny type person. great! a mastepiece.

5 comments, registered 10 years ago

#8 @ 9 years ago

by Seal_Religion666 - Ghost

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

What the hell? I don't understand.

10 comments, registered 9 years ago

#9 @ 9 years ago

by davenport - One-off wonder

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

1 comment, registered 10 years ago

#10 @ 9 years ago

by stingray-apple - Ghost

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

#11 @ 9 years ago

by alice in chains 1760 - Quiet veteran

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

14 comments, registered 11 years ago

#12 @ 9 years ago

by stingray-apple - Ghost

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

THERE IS SOME SUPER STORIES ON THE WEB, BUT THIS IS TOTALLY AMUSING.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago

#13 @ 9 years ago

by modern times - Ghost

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

I LOVE THIS. EDITED: SORRY, FAKE POST!

8 comments, registered 9 years ago

#14 @ 9 years ago

by alice in chains 1760 - Quiet veteran

modern times wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

I LOVE THIS. EDITED: SORRY, FAKE POST!

I guess. I've really enjoyed th stuff on laughsend, but it's all samey now.

14 comments, registered 11 years ago

#15 @ 9 years ago

by Finch Faucet1965 - Ghost

alice in chains 1760 wrote

modern times wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

I LOVE THIS. EDITED: SORRY, FAKE POST!

I guess. I've really enjoyed th stuff on laughsend, but it's all samey now.

Have a feeling this sort of dump might just take over my entire life.

8 comments, registered 9 years ago

#16 @ 9 years ago

by front string - Quiet veteran

alice in chains 1760 wrote

modern times wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

I LOVE THIS. EDITED: SORRY, FAKE POST!

I guess. I've really enjoyed th stuff on laughsend, but it's all samey now.

I don't really understand... and yet I do understand.

36 comments, registered 11 years ago

#17 @ 9 years ago

by b-andersen - Ghost

front string wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

modern times wrote

alice in chains 1760 wrote

stingray-apple wrote

davenport wrote

market activity wrote

amelie wrote

RMacdonald1986 wrote

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

if i fall asleep at any time, you'll have to...

i did not not un-ca not stand this.
:)

Steal your ideas much? Your contradictng yourself. :(.

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABOUT THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TURN ON THE RADIO AND THERE ARE SONG LYRICS IN YOUR HEAD... THAT'S LIKE THIS MOMENT. OH BOY...

Whatever?

I LOVE THIS. EDITED: SORRY, FAKE POST!

I guess. I've really enjoyed th stuff on laughsend, but it's all samey now.

I don't really understand... and yet I do understand.

YOU ARE A NIPPLE. YOU ARE PHONY.

3 comments, registered 10 years ago

#18 @ 9 years ago

by fyodor dostoyevsky - Ghost

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

Snore. I just don't get it. :)

7 comments, registered 9 years ago

#19 @ 9 years ago

by louis de bernieres222 - One-off wonder

amelie wrote

Beetle5174 wrote

cannon-jeans wrote

I AM FURIOUS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE GARBAGE LIKE THIS.

Ooops, wrong post! Shut up, you nipple.

People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

Yeah, whatevr. Super meh.

1 comment, registered 10 years ago

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