Leather on skin causes cancer

A Christian "Science" group has today released findings suggesting that leather clothing can cause skin cancer. The group, dubbed "Science For Baby Jesus" have been studying, rather closely by all accounts, the effects of the wearing tight leather trousers on the incidence rates of skin cancer. The group claim that up to 85% of all tight leather wearers will suffer from cancer due to their clothing choices, and that being worn in conjunction with a handlebar moustache raises that percentage by another 20%.

"It's without doubt - any lifestyle in which it is demanded that you wear leather will eventually be your undoing," claimed spokesperson Jerry Fisher. "Not that the lifestyle bothers us at all - oh no no no - this is science at work, showing this clear correlation of facts and numbers."

When contacted, many vegan rights groups fought back against the claims, with one member organisation claiming:

"As much as the stereotype might say that we are belligerent against all forms of animal products, you might be surprised to hear that we actually advocate good science, and not partial bullshit like this from the God Brigade."