News is slowly filtering in from a Scandinavian country (really, we can't be more specific? - Ed) that multiple vehicles are currently involved in a hostage situation, with access being denied to people's automobiles along a 400 metre stretch of road. Geoff Crust, owner of a blockaded 4-litre Saab Espresso, told us:
"It's terrifying. I stepped outside the pub ready to go home - don't panic kids, I had an orange juice - when suddenly these orbs descended and blocked my path. I moved left - they moved left. I shimmied - they shimmied. Blow me if these little sods can't half move."
The paranormal investigative sector of the internet has exploded with the news, advising that owners of the cars should stand well back and not provoke the situation.
"These orbs are undoubtedly the angry ghosts of people and animals who have been mercilessly slaughtered by cars," said Roger McOff, owner of memorial website Forgotten Bitches. "I wouldn't be surprised if they're inside the electronics and gismos and gadgets that modern folk seem to own. It's our own destructive past catching up with us. Armageddon. Rapture. Death!"
Whatever the exact cause of the problems, some have declared the situation a 'hoax' and 'baffling'. James Randi, famed paranormal debunker and all-round skeptic, chimed in:
"Seriously? This is a real... oh, OK. Well, look, if you think orbs are dead people you are an absolute moron. I don't want to mince words: moronic morons who moron their way through life moronically."
We will, of course, keep you updated with more news as it comes in.
Apparently, the orbs were just reflected light from the flash of the camera onto snow droplets. Or were they.