World Sci / Tech

Monsters aren't cute

story image about cute and monsters Greg, snarling
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In what is apparently a reaction to a recent spate of cutesy-pie movie monsters such as those seen in Monsters Inc and its sequel, a one-eyed one-horned mutation, who wishes to be known as Greg, has today burst onto the media scene to dispell those suggestions.

Greg, who refuses to accept that it has chosen a very cute name for a monster, has spent the past few days on a media tour of the US and Europe attempting to explain that monsters are vicious creatures with nasty big pointy teeth, even if the teeth themselves are not in their mouths.

"I'm here just to confirm to human kind that we monsters are not here for anyone's amusement. My kind and I will happily tear pieces from you like cheese strings, and wring your intestines dry like a wet towel - all for fun. We don't need nourishment from human body parts, we just enjoy it."

Greg refuses to rule out potential organised strikes that would, in his words "show humankind what monsters are really all about", and has suggested that the three day monster summit that is set to take place in September could generate grounds for such strikes.

"The future is very fluid. We'll assess the situation and go from there. If by then there are no obvious signs of humans taking our threat more seriously then it's possible we will have to bring about a show of force. It will be regrettable, but... well, there you have it."

Greg, who can juggle four balls at once and occasionally plays the dame during Panto season, is available for parties and bat/r-mitzvahs.

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Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by Al-Sawyer777 - Ghost

And your point is? :)

6 comments, registered 5 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by operation caterpillar123 - Quiet veteran

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

17 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by lorettalutz777 - Ghost

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

Hey - this is majestic. Don't listen to the miserable people. :(.

6 comments, registered 5 years ago
#4 @ 5 years ago
by Shoe Whip - Ghost

lorettalutz777 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

Hey - this is majestic. Don't listen to the miserable people. :(.

PEOPLE WIN AWARDS FOR ALL SORTS OF THINGS. NOT RELEVANT RIGHT NOW, BUT GOOD INFORMATION TO HAVE, I FEEL. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

8 comments, registered 5 years ago
#5 @ 5 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

Shoe Whip wrote

lorettalutz777 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

Hey - this is majestic. Don't listen to the miserable people. :(.

PEOPLE WIN AWARDS FOR ALL SORTS OF THINGS. NOT RELEVANT RIGHT NOW, BUT GOOD INFORMATION TO HAVE, I FEEL. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

effective. meh. x)

12 comments, registered 5 years ago
#6 @ 5 years ago
by amelie - Quiet veteran

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

I do not know.

19 comments, registered 5 years ago
#7 @ 5 years ago
by dillonkidd - Ghost

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Al-Sawyer777 wrote

And your point is? :)

SURE, WHY NOT. NOT SURE ABUT THIS ONE.

:)

Laugh-out-loud.

10 comments, registered 5 years ago

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