Monsters aren't cute

In what is apparently a reaction to a recent spate of cutesy-pie movie monsters such as those seen in Monsters Inc and its sequel, a one-eyed one-horned mutation, who wishes to be known as Greg, has today burst onto the media scene to dispell those suggestions.

Greg, who refuses to accept that it has chosen a very cute name for a monster, has spent the past few days on a media tour of the US and Europe attempting to explain that monsters are vicious creatures with nasty big pointy teeth, even if the teeth themselves are not in their mouths.

"I'm here just to confirm to human kind that we monsters are not here for anyone's amusement. My kind and I will happily tear pieces from you like cheese strings, and wring your intestines dry like a wet towel - all for fun. We don't need nourishment from human body parts, we just enjoy it."

Greg refuses to rule out potential organised strikes that would, in his words "show humankind what monsters are really all about", and has suggested that the three day monster summit that is set to take place in September could generate grounds for such strikes.

"The future is very fluid. We'll assess the situation and go from there. If by then there are no obvious signs of humans taking our threat more seriously then it's possible we will have to bring about a show of force. It will be regrettable, but... well, there you have it."

Greg, who can juggle four balls at once and occasionally plays the dame during Panto season, is available for parties and bat/r-mitzvahs.