World Sci / Tech

Apple buy out Samsung

story image about apple and samsung Hybrid Apple/Samsung future laptop
Report story

Reaction to this week's confirmed sale of South Korean electronics company Samsung Electronics by competitor firm Apple has continued to make major storms today in the tech industry today. The announcement, made yesterday by Apple spokesperson Alan Chad Filigree, caused massive fluctuations in stock market prices for both firms, eventually settling out at 0.01% difference across the various monetary indexes. However, the storms have instead been caused by the reactions of respective customers, or "fanboys".

"I just can't flippin' believe it", said one British Samsung fan. "Apple are so shit. I mean, it's just crazy - Samsung are amazing and Apple are useless. Their phones are expensive toys bought by hipsters and babies."

The counter argument ran:

"I just can't believe it", said one American Apple fan. "Samsung are so shit. I mean, it's just crazy - Apple are amazing and Samsung are terrible. Their phones are just Apple knock-offs bought by idiots and the elderly."

Arguments have been raging across fan forums across the internet, including such bastions of knowledge as Mumsnet, and in the Amazon comments sections. The dust seems unlikely to settle in the near future, as competition commissions investigate the proposed Samsung sale to Apple, but tech news site TechArsenal claimed that the sale is doomed due to a fundamental software incompatibility in their AntiMicrosoft chips.

Both firms have very good AntiMicrosoft (AM) software in their operating systems, but a merger is only going to cause headaches when products and OSs are eventually fused. As we all know, the AM chips prevent Microsoft's activation of the doomsday device that has been built into all those born since August 1981 - when MS-DOS was implanted into everyone's DNA. Without these two firms maintaining their neutrality and competition, the AM software is at risk of failure. Mankind may then be doomed.

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter



Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Cloth particles

Shroud of Turin - just a handkerchief!

World Sci / Tech 0

Researchers at Oxford University have found evidence that the infamous 'Shroud of Turin', said to be the death-cloth of Jesus Christ, does indeed date back to the first century...

read more
5 years ago
thumbnail for item Pussy cat in a cage

Faraday cage wildlife

World Sci / Tech 0

The University of Boston's science director has today announced findings that the Faraday cage, used in experiments including "locking in your mate to scare the willies out of him" and... well, that's about it, is not entirely suitable for caging wild and specifically endangered animals.

read more
5 years ago

Comments

This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Libra horoscope

I am always pretending to be a cat - make sure you have a special "getaway" persona that you can adopt at any given......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Get your own news story published here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed