World Sci / Tech

VR porn to come with sauce sachet style "jizz packs"

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The pornographic industry is said to have been the deciding factor in the great video format war, of VHS vs Betamax in the 1980s. Whether apocryphal or not, the future of Virtual Reality, or VR, is possibly going to require an equally significant push from the porn industry, to push it deep into consumer consciousness.

As it currently stands, VR is sat on the outer wall of consumer interest. Sure, it looks pretty on the wall, but until it comes down and starts joining in the games, it'll always remain an outsider. Pornographic companies and advocates alike are, however, looking to coax VR down from the wall, and into the big business of 3 dimensional foreplay.

"It's a massively exciting arena," claimed Jay Izzler, owner of Jizzler magazine. "We're spending a fortune getting good VR video content online for our consumers, and day-on-day the available market is growing as Oculus, Carboard and Samsung VR increase sales."

Recent online surveys claim that the consumer is, indeed, become more savvy about the future of porn, and clamouring to get its hands on the content.

"This is new, and because it's new there are plenty of challenges to overcome. Speaking of which - what we're now trying to get consumers to look at is visiting their local adult superstore and purchasing one of several sachets we have developed, that have small NFC chips embedded in them. At exactly the right time during a VR session, the appropriate sachets will explode, spraying their juicy contents everywhere."

This rather disgusting reality sounds rather more than virtual. What range of sachets are available?

"Oh, we've developed all kinds. From the obvious, to wee-wee and poo-poo. We got all kinds."

Mr Izzler's company can be found online, but we don't want to spread the URL in case there's any sort of comeback. Is that the right word?





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 9 years ago
by Baboon Wood - Ghost

Edited: sorry, unlikely post!

3 comments, registered 11 years ago
#2 @ 9 years ago
by Error-Expert - Quiet veteran

jizz-packs-63520.php#comment_31405">Baboon Wood wrote

Edited: sorry, unlikely post!

Comments are like assholes... no, that's not accurate... people claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

11 comments, registered 11 years ago
#3 @ 9 years ago
by Leo Tolstoy - Ghost

jizz-packs-63520.php#comment_31412">Error-Expert wrote

jizz-packs-63520.php#comment_31405">Baboon Wood wrote

Edited: sorry, unlikely post!

Comments are like assholes... no, that's not accurate... people claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

Here is the clear master of deflecting attention.

4 comments, registered 9 years ago
#4 @ 9 years ago
by front string - Quiet veteran

jizz-packs-63520.php#comment_31405">Baboon Wood wrote

Edited: sorry, unlikely post!

Ha! :)

36 comments, registered 11 years ago

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