Jose Mourinho to organise charity fight with Arsene Wenger

Ex-Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has announced through the press this morning that he intends to organise a charity boxing match with long time rival Arsene Wenger.

"He is not a rival for me," said Jose, as he was looking over my shoulder while typing this out. "When he is able to match my statistic for being unbeaten, then maybe he can say it. But not now."

The sometimes bearded mystery box made claims in his announcement that Wenger was "running scared", although this was prior to his rival hearing anything of the challenge. Mourinho, 52, has made something of a career of trying to goad the long-serving Arsenal manager. Though some of his taunts have hit home, in recent years, Wenger has for the most part ignored the posturing of the Portuguese. However, following a touchline spat in October 2014, Mourinho bafflingly now feels he has the upper hand on the Frenchman.

"The professor? No. I don't think so," Mourinho's original announcement read. "To me he is the janitor, cleaning up the sick of children with sawdust and paper towels. If he is a professor, then I am more than that, I am the headmaster, the dean, perhaps even God. Yes, I think so. I really think so."

The boxing match, which is tentatively scheduled for some time in August during the 2016 European Championships, is likely to be initially refused by Wenger, but after some pathetic taunting from Mourinho will be agreed to later on this month by Wenger's associates.