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Lottery winner gives full winnings to charity; immediately regrets decision

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Recent lottery, or Lottomax, winner Sylvia Horsestring has begun legal proceedings to reclaim the winnings that she gifted to a charity.

The winner of last November's Plucky Millions draw had gained much reknown and exposure following her almost immediate announcement to eschew the money and award her £4.2m cash prize Orangufan, a charity promoting the welfare of orange monkeys. However, recent events in her life have apparently forced a rethink of circumstances, and she has now begun proceedings to retrieve her erstwhile money.

"It's quite an unusual thing," claimed a spokeperson for one law firm we almost spoke to. "It's possible to claim some sort of mental aberration following the award of such a large sum, and I'd be surprised if that didn't comprise the bulk of her reclaim attempt."

Orangufan have launched a counter claim for the mental upheaval being caused to the monkeys around the world, many of whom have already picked out new furniture and 55" plasma TVs.

"It's a head-boink alright," said Gwen Chaffinch, CEO of Orangufan. "I don't care what damage she's done to her body in that dreadful accident. If she wants cyborg implants and hi-tech synthetic limbs, she can go swing."

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Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by Error-Expert - Quiet veteran

Whenever I think "I care", I always then wonder if I should see the optician. But would I? Puns a-plenty. I don't know what to say. But whatever - it would be witty, and clever, and ... no, you're right, it wouldn't be.

11 comments, registered 5 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by corinne_mccarty-mclean - Quiet veteran

Error-Expert wrote

Whenever I think "I care", I always then wonder if I should see the optician. But would I? Puns a-plenty. I don't know what to say. But whatever - it would be witty, and clever, and ... no, you're right, it wouldn't be.

I wish people would just shut up and stop making this kind of comment.

11 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by alice in chains 1760 - Quiet veteran

Error-Expert wrote

Whenever I think "I care", I always then wonder if I should see the optician. But would I? Puns a-plenty. I don't know what to say. But whatever - it would be witty, and clever, and ... no, you're right, it wouldn't be.

I thought it was funny.

)

14 comments, registered 5 years ago
#4 @ 5 years ago
by amelie - Quiet veteran

nothing will stop me reading more on this site, but this came close. this whole idea is stolen frm elsewhere.

19 comments, registered 5 years ago
#5 @ 5 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

amelie wrote

nothing will stop me reading more on this site, but this came close. this whole idea is stolen frm elsewhere.

Super meh. Sometime's I write thing's on the internet.

19 comments, registered 5 years ago
#6 @ 5 years ago
by jailicicle7 - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

amelie wrote

nothing will stop me reading more on this site, but this came close. this whole idea is stolen frm elsewhere.

Super meh. Sometime's I write thing's on the internet.

I can't agree more with this.

:)

3 comments, registered 5 years ago
#7 @ 5 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

jailicicle7 wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

amelie wrote

nothing will stop me reading more on this site, but this came close. this whole idea is stolen frm elsewhere.

Super meh. Sometime's I write thing's on the internet.

I can't agree more with this.

:)

This is the most niceest nonsense I've ever seen.

19 comments, registered 5 years ago
#8 @ 5 years ago
by rubio7 - Quiet veteran

jailicicle7 wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

amelie wrote

nothing will stop me reading more on this site, but this came close. this whole idea is stolen frm elsewhere.

Super meh. Sometime's I write thing's on the internet.

I can't agree more with this.

:)

Yeah, watever. Comments are like assholes... no, that's not accurate... :)

13 comments, registered 5 years ago
#9 @ 5 years ago
by Al-Sawyer777 - Ghost

Slow clap. When you tell me something interesting, I am tempted to tell you something equally interesting. My toes hurt when I stub them.

6 comments, registered 5 years ago
#10 @ 5 years ago
by d-shah1993 - Ghost

Know I have experienced a plethora of scarily god-awful things inside online articles about this, but this is the least sensical. Who really wrote this - someone with chunks missing from there head?

10 comments, registered 5 years ago
#11 @ 5 years ago
by corinne_mccarty-mclean - Quiet veteran

You know when you turn on the radio and there are song lyrics in your head... that's like this moment. Whatever you say, charlie. :)

11 comments, registered 5 years ago
#12 @ 5 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

off topic.

12 comments, registered 5 years ago

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