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Delia cooks children

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Model chef, model, chef, and otherwise wonderful person Delia Smith, has today come under fire for apparently promoting the cannibalism of children.

Her new show, set to feature this coming spring on the BBC, is apparently aimed at getting more folk 'eating their own', and includes 'cheffy' techniques such as french-basting, tuile baking, and sugar-work.

A spokesperson, who we decided to not believe, told us:

"This is all wrong. The show is called Delia cooks with kids - nobody other than you guys is purposefully choosing to believe it means she's going to be dry-roasting children."

To avoid all claims of bias on our part, we did a quick poll around the office and it was soon clear that while the spokesperson had a point, Arthur (the young lad who the old women flirt with) was deemed to be the one who had to clean all the cups, even Geoff's mouldy one that he left near the printer.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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