The boxing world is reeling today after rank amateur Rocky Bilbao almost, but not quite, managed to beat world champion Apollo Armstrong. The bout, decided on points only after all 12 rounds had been completed, is said to be one of the "most thrillingest" boxing matches ever staged, with some saying that a re-match would probably make both contestants rich and famous in perpetuity.
"There ain't gonna be no rematch," Armstrong was heard to say, following a trip to the hospital for both battered pugilists.
The match, original set up in Philadelphia but later moved to Manhattan for nefarious purposes, was supposed to have only lasted a few rounds. World champ, Apollo "Snake Loins" Armstrong was tipped to whup the contender after first giving the crowd a little spectacle. Armstrong, who only agreed to the match up following a late injury to his intended opponent, was stunned by a strength and stubborness that Spaniard Bilbao, was capable of showing.
"It was a heck of a fight," claimed one spectator. "There was a bit of this, a bit of that. Then Rocky did this thing where he went this way, and his arms went that way. Heck of a fight. The canvas is like a butcher's shop floor. Heck of a fight."
Re-match or not, this will surely generate a great deal of interest in the almost-champ Bilbao, who until today had mostly been fighting people with nicknames like "The Cowboy" and "Armless Enoch". Let's hope we enjoy his contributions for many years to come.