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Sports predictions for 2017

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The year 2017 promises to be another big one for sports fans. In this article I will try to make some predictions on what can potentially happen in the sporting world over the next twelve months.

Tennis - Maria Sharapova will make her return to competition but will not make much of an impact in the Grand Slams though because 2017 is a year ending in an odd number and all of her Grand Slam triumphs have come in even number years. She will continue to shriek while playing her matches and lose to Serena. The latter will break Margaret Court's record for the most Grand Slam Singles triumphs and will be hailed as the greatest of all time. Jealous Sharapova fans will continue to make racist and disparaging remarks about her in the comments section of sports websites. Roger Federer will lose another Grand Slam final to Novak Djokovic. He will break down in tears in the post-match interviews over the amount of tribute paid to him.

Football - A team from Spain will go on to win the Champions League. That team will be either current Champions Real Madrid or Barcelona. Arguments on social media will ensue over whether Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world. Neymar fans will remain quiet. Brazil will qualify for another World Cup. Argentina will follow suit. Much to the relief of their fans. The Netherlands won't be so lucky.

Track & Field - Usain Bolt will end his career on a golden high with three more wins in the World Athletics Championships. He will officially be called the Greatest Track Athlete Ever. Justin Gatlin will be left scratching his head in bewilderment as to why he can't beat him and Christophe Lemaitre will express regrets over not pursuing a career in swimming instead. Dafne Schippers will successfully defend her 200M World Title in a very impressive time. She will arouse suspicions of drug use once again because she is white. She will be continuously trolled on her social media accounts by Elaine Thompson fans. They will leave Tori Bowie alone though.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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#1 @ 7 years ago
by Fuck Nose - Writer

Come on, this is bollocks. Dont fall fr it; stop feeding the troll.

5 comments, registered 8 years ago

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