Demons send message to earth; lost in translation

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Demons have today been put on probation after accidentally forgetting to insert text in a missive sent down by their master, Satan. The behorned one was said to be furious with his staff after discovering that a sign intended to scare and terrify humankind was, instead, missing vital information to actually convey the fear.

"It's a bit of a cock up," said one of Lucifer's most trusted servants, Geoff. "We did a sort of Mail Merge, you see, cos we had like a thousand signs to fill in with these scary phrases and so on. Except I think the master got bored or something because he wanted us to fill in some ourselves. He does that from time to time - a bit like you might say etcetera when you need someone to just do the obvious bits for you.

"Except in this case we ended up carving the words 'Scary Message' into about a hundred of these signs. Eek."

The Devil, biologically aged around 42, was fuming after the incident, and has said that his minions won't be getting dessert for at least 6 millenia. While he was unavailable for direct comment, you could pretty much hear him from whereever you were standing because that creature can seriously shout.

Teenagers, however, have leapt upon the incident, citing it as a "good reason to dick about with black magic". Many have reportedly been attempting to goad the Prince of Darkness (not Ozzy) by creating half-finished Pentagrams, chalked inside with phrases like "I love the [dude with red horns]" and [insertragehere_field1]

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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Given Time, by Paul London

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