Demons send message to earth; lost in translation

story image about [Scary message goes here]
Report story

Demons have today been put on probation after accidentally forgetting to insert text in a missive sent down by their master, Satan. The behorned one was said to be furious with his staff after discovering that a sign intended to scare and terrify humankind was, instead, missing vital information to actually convey the fear.

"It's a bit of a cock up," said one of Lucifer's most trusted servants, Geoff. "We did a sort of Mail Merge, you see, cos we had like a thousand signs to fill in with these scary phrases and so on. Except I think the master got bored or something because he wanted us to fill in some ourselves. He does that from time to time - a bit like you might say etcetera when you need someone to just do the obvious bits for you.

"Except in this case we ended up carving the words 'Scary Message' into about a hundred of these signs. Eek."

The Devil, biologically aged around 42, was fuming after the incident, and has said that his minions won't be getting dessert for at least 6 millenia. While he was unavailable for direct comment, you could pretty much hear him from whereever you were standing because that creature can seriously shout.

Teenagers, however, have leapt upon the incident, citing it as a "good reason to dick about with black magic". Many have reportedly been attempting to goad the Prince of Darkness (not Ozzy) by creating half-finished Pentagrams, chalked inside with phrases like "I love the [dude with red horns]" and [insertragehere_field1]

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item

Virgin offer training

World Business 0

British company, Virgin, are said to be offering virgin training to their staff in, what sources have called, "a really weird move".

read more
10 years ago
thumbnail for item literal definition change

Casual paradigm

World Business 0

If, like most of us, you know someone who likes to casually throw words like 'paradigm' and 'proactive' into workaday conversation, you'll be pleased to know that officials have...

read more
11 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Leo horoscope

Itching may be a sign of bad things to come. The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like. Memory can often plays......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed