World Politics

Cuba supports Hillary for Presidency; intends to send delegate to next Miss Universe Pageant if she wins election

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In another sign of the thawing of Cold War tensions, the Government of Cuba has announced that from next year they will be sending their first delegate to the Miss Universe Pageant in 50 years as long as Hillary Clinton wins the Presidency. In a statement on the official website of the ruling Communist Party, the Government said:

"We the Cuban people are very thankful to Senor Obama for finally recognizing the legitimacy of the Dictatorship and that the American people can finally see how much progress we have made despite the embargo. That's why we are 100% behind Senora Hillary in the upcoming Presidential Election. We know for sure that if she wins the White House, the embargo will be fully lifted. I know for a fact that Senor Obama will see to it that she does that."

So confident was the Cuban Government that the embargo will be fully lifted, the statement further went on to say:

"As a matter of showing our gratitude in advance, we have decided that as of next year we will be sending our first delegate to the Miss Universe pageant in 50 years. Everyone knows how much Cuban women are admired and ogled over by American men. Names like Eva Mendes and the very alluring Vida Guerra come to mind. The latter's bunda of course proved to be a visual aphrodisiac for many American males. Even the great Michael Jordan is married to a Cuban woman. If Trump wins however, forget it. It's back to the 60's. We won't be spared the wrath of his tyrannical reign."

Contacted to get his response, Mr. Trump said:

"I find it ironically funny that a country ruled by a brutal dictatorship which came to power in a bloody coup has the audacity to call me a tyrant. Yet they have intensions of potentially participating in a pageant that I made famous. But of course I am the evil gringo."

Cuban President Raul Castro, in an interview with the Newspaper Granma, had this reply to Mr. Trump's comments:

"You mean to tell me that Senor Trump referred to himself as an evil gringo? Wow! That's the most sensible thing that I ever heard him say."

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